Horoscopes, By The Great Mentok
Aries: You are either in a very good place right now or you soon will be. Not America you are in Rwanda for the long haul. You are surrounded by friends and work is going well. Hold on to these memories, they will shine a light for you in darker times.
Taurus: Meditate. Pray. Center yourself however you please. The answer you seek will come, but only when you have calmed yourself and given enough time to the question.
Gemini: ?desufnoc yrev uoy erA Things order seem of out do? Deos nnithog mkae ssnee? Nvjr eqpoh mfvro mvronh? Okay, I just mashed my hand on the keyboard for that last one. The point is that sometimes you can understand something better if you change the way you look at it.
Cancer: Adventure. Excitement. A PCV craves not these things. Craving chocolate and ice cream is normal, though. So, feel free to indulge yourself any chance you get.
Leo: You will go back in time to prevent SkyNet from becoming self aware and taking over the world. When you return to the present time, however, all PCVs will have been replaced by RoboVolunteers. You and Dr. Brown have quite a bit of work to do this month.
Virgo: Sometimes letting things run their course is the best option. Sit back and watch this unfold organically. You will be surprised to find out that your involvement is not needed in every step of the procedure.
Libra: The stress of it all is wearing you out. Time to take a break and relax. Listen to some music. Make a blanket fort. Get some exercise. Do a puzzle. Eat some fruit. Visit a friend. Watch 'Empire Records.' You'll feel better in about a week.
Scorpio: Guys, what is it called when your back hair grows into your neck hair grows into your regular hair? I don't know either, but you have it. Also, ladies, do you mind that your face makeup doesn't match your neck? When I squint, you look
like a circus clown.
Sagittarius: A wise man once said, 'never trust a fart.' Here are some other things you must not trust this month to avoid some nasty situations: clouds, clowns, shoe strings, hand shakes, blanket forts, and time travel.
Capricorn: A case of Giardia is coming your way fast. Dress appropriately.
Aquarius: Misfortunately, the planification for to teach your lesson of English is no going what you like. This is somehow not your question. Continuing to teach your students and slow by slow it comes to them. Just.
Pisces: What we had together was great, but its OVER!
Stop calling me at work! My manager says that if
you call one more time, then he will fire me. I
need this job! Stop harassing me or I'll call the